Tag: Satire

Two figures in a satirical theatrical setting -- one in a suit holding a Bible and military briefing document with a lanyard reading "Office of Sacred Communications," the other a composed interviewer with a clipboard -- lit by a single spotlight, with St Peter's Basilica and a naval carrier group suggested in the background shadows.

The Holy War on the Holy See

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Pete Hegseth has a muscular theology. The Pope has Augustine on his side and refugees on his schedule. The Vice President has been explaining Just War theory to an Augustinian. Clarke and Dawe have two chairs, a lanyard marked “Office of Sacred Communications,” and the truth hiding in plain sight. Urban Wronski referees.

Richard Marles, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Defence, at a press conference projecting institutional confidence while Australia’s defence procurement record, AUKUS submarine delays, the Washington happenstance encounter, and the Geelong refinery fire suggest a more complicated story

DeadWood Marles: Australia’s Liberal in Drag

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He is, in the most precise political sense available, a Liberal in drag. Same tough talk on alliances and deterrence. Same fondness for American hardware and AUKUS largesse. Wrapped in just enough factional red to keep the true believers satisfied. All suit, no spark. And a remarkable talent for making national security sound like a mildly confusing numbers meeting that ran somewhat overtime. Urban Wronski profiles Richard “DeadWood” Marles, Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Defence.

Raccoon in a suit sitting between two men at an interview table with a microphone

VANCE DROPS IN

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JD Vance has just returned from negotiations with Iran. The Strait of Hormuz is still closed. Two C-130s are still on a dirt strip outside Isfahan. And the Vice President would like to explain, in his own words, why this is going tremendously. Urban Wronski channels Clarke and Dawe. Stand by.

Are we at War with Iran?

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INTERVIEWER: Are we at war with Iran?
ALBANESE: No.
INTERVIEWER: Then why did they bomb our base?
ALBANESE: Because they’re Iran.
One interviewer. One Prime Minister. Forty-five satellite dishes, three submariners, one Wedgetail aircraft, a peace negotiation bombed flat, a hundred and seventy schoolgirls, and a pocket square without a mark on it. A political interview in the tradition of Clarke and Dawe.

A date palm silhouetted at dusk on the Iranian coast, oil tankers idle on the Strait of Hormuz behind it.

The Place of Dates

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Through the Strait of Hormuz — named either for the Zoroastrian god Ahura Mazda or the Persian phrase for ‘Place of Dates’ — flows 20% of the world’s oil. Or rather, it did. Iran has now reduced traffic by 97%. Urban Wronski traces the etymology, the date palm’s lessons in patience, and what empires learn the expensive way.

Composite editorial image showing Australian leaders on a glossy stage beside a model submarine and US flag, with faded historical scenes of Gallipoli, Vietnam and Iraq in the background.

The Tyranny of Delusion: How Australia Keeps Fighting Yesterday’s Wars

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AUKUS is the culmination of our imperial hangover. It combines obsolete technology in an age of drones with geography that defeats its purpose, industrial bottlenecks that guarantee delay, and a strategic rationale contradicted by its authors. Political cowardice is dressed as resolve. We are spending a generation’s wealth on submarines we probably will not get, cannot crew, cannot fuel, to fight wars Washington has already priced out of its plans.

The Pressure Cooker Has Exploded: Gaza, Genocide, and the Great Western Amnesia

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October 7 did not fall from the sky like a biblical plague. It was not spontaneous combustion. It was the predictable detonation of a pressure cooker sealed shut by decades of occupation, humiliation, and the kind of slow-motion strangulation that would make Kafka blush. Yet here we are; watching Western leaders clutch their pearls while the Israeli war machine turns Gaza into a graveyard, all under the banner of “self-defence”.