This work is offered as a tribute to the late John Clarke and his brilliant collaborator, Bryan Dawe. Together, they transformed Australian political satire, pairing clarity with understatement and wit with moral intelligence. Their dialogues not only illuminated public life, they set a standard for incisive commentary that continues to shape how Australians understand power, politics and the absurdities of public culture. The first imaginative reconstruction follows their typical brevity. The second imagines, in a more extended tribute, what may have transpired had the pair been dealing at length with the current controversy over Richo’s State Funeral.

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[TITLE CARD: “CLARKE & DAWE”]
[CUT TO BRYAN AND JOHN, OUTSIDE PARLIAMENT, DEADPAN.]

BRYAN DAWE: This week, the government has confirmed a state funeral for longtime political operator Graham Richardson. John Clarke is a senior spokesperson for ceremonial policy.

JOHN CLARKE: Good morning.

BRYAN DAWE: John, thanks for joining us.

JOHN CLARKE: It is a pleasure, Bryan. Very busy time for the machinery.

BRYAN DAWE: The machinery?

JOHN CLARKE: Yes. A lot of operators going through it at the moment.

BRYAN DAWE: Right. Well, let us see if we can clarify that.

[BEGIN MAIN INTERVIEW.]

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1. The Machinery

SETTING: Outside Parliament House.

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BRYAN DAWE: John, the government has announced a state funeral for Graham Richardson.

JOHN CLARKE: That is correct, Bryan. Full ceremonial arrangements, high attendance, very dignified.

BRYAN DAWE: Despite his record.

JOHN CLARKE: Yes, Bryan. In recognition of it.

BRYAN DAWE: Right. And what was the basis for the decision?

JOHN CLARKE: The usual criteria. Long service, significant influence, deep familiarity with the machinery.

BRYAN DAWE: When you say machinery, you mean the government.

JOHN CLARKE: Not precisely, Bryan. The machinery is the arrangement that sits around government. The operational environment. The system that protects long-serving operators.

BRYAN DAWE: Even if they have acted corruptly.

JOHN CLARKE: Particularly if they have acted corruptly. Otherwise, the machinery loses consistency.

BRYAN DAWE: I see. So this is about continuity?

JOHN CLARKE: Exactly. The machinery values continuity above almost everything else.

BRYAN DAWE: But Richardson had a long history of what many people would call wrongdoing.

JOHN CLARKE: He did, Bryan, and he pursued it with considerable dedication. That level of commitment is noted.

BRYAN DAWE: He was never prosecuted.

JOHN CLARKE: And that is highly regarded. Successfully avoiding prosecution demonstrates operational skill.

BRYAN DAWE: So avoidance of accountability is considered a qualification?

JOHN CLARKE: In the machinery, yes. Accountability introduces unpredictability.

BRYAN DAWE: And the Prime Minister approves this.

JOHN CLARKE: Absolutely. He observed Richardson closely in earlier years and is now demonstrating that he understands the machinery’s expectations.

BRYAN DAWE: Which are?

JOHN CLARKE: Loyalty to the machinery. Recognition of operator status. A general reluctance to take sudden moral positions.

BRYAN DAWE: Has this happened before?

JOHN CLARKE: Many times. The machinery has protected and honoured numerous operators, irrespective of their conduct.

BRYAN DAWE: Even after very serious matters?

JOHN CLARKE: Often after the most serious matters, Bryan. It streamlines the process.

BRYAN DAWE: So Richardson qualifies because the machinery protected others.

JOHN CLARKE: Precisely. It would be unfair to discontinue the pattern.

BRYAN DAWE: Unfair to whom?

JOHN CLARKE: To the machinery, Bryan.

BRYAN DAWE: And John Laws received a state funeral as well.

JOHN CLARKE: Indeed. Another long-serving operator, substantial influence, occasional convictions, very well embedded.

BRYAN DAWE: And this sets a precedent?

JOHN CLARKE: It confirms one. The machinery is not sentimental, but it is consistent.

BRYAN DAWE: Alan Jones would be next in line.

JOHN CLARKE: If one were following the logic, yes. He has certainly met most of the key performance indicators.

BRYAN DAWE: So the list continues.

JOHN CLARKE: It is an extensive list, Bryan. The machinery has produced many operators.

BRYAN DAWE: Is anyone concerned about this?

JOHN CLARKE: Concern is expressed privately, but the machinery treats concern as non-binding.

BRYAN DAWE: Could the machinery stop honouring these figures?

JOHN CLARKE: It could. But that would require recognising that previous decisions were errors, and that would raise questions about earlier operators. That is considered undesirable.

BRYAN DAWE: Because it introduces accountability.

JOHN CLARKE: Exactly.

BRYAN DAWE: So the machinery cannot reverse course?

JOHN CLARKE: It can, Bryan. It has chosen not to.

BRYAN DAWE: Why?

JOHN CLARKE: Because continuing is simpler than admitting error.

BRYAN DAWE: So this will continue indefinitely?

JOHN CLARKE: Operators who have been protected will continue to be honoured. It is regarded as best practice.

BRYAN DAWE: Best practice?

JOHN CLARKE: Within the machinery, yes.

[FADE]

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2. CLARKE & DAWE: PERPETUAL MOTION

A longer-form dialogue

SETTING: Parliament House lawn.
BRYAN DAWE holds papers.
JOHN CLARKE appears as a government advisor responsible for ceremonial policy.

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BRYAN DAWE: John, the government has confirmed a state funeral for Graham Richardson.

JOHN CLARKE: Correct, Bryan. A full state occasion, substantial logistical investment, strong attendance expected.

BRYAN DAWE: Despite the allegations.

JOHN CLARKE: In light of the allegations, Bryan. Ignoring them would create an inconsistency.

BRYAN DAWE: How so?

JOHN CLARKE: The machinery cannot pretend not to know the record. That would cause a discrepancy. Acknowledging the record while honouring the operator keeps the pattern intact.

BRYAN DAWE: When you say machinery, you mean government.

JOHN CLARKE: Not exactly, Bryan. I mean the structure surrounding government. The informal but very reliable arrangement that ensures operators are protected whether or not their work benefited the public.

BRYAN DAWE: And this is official policy?

JOHN CLARKE: It is not written down. It is followed.

BRYAN DAWE: Richardson had a reputation for systematic corruption.

JOHN CLARKE: He did. He conducted it professionally. The machinery appreciates that.

BRYAN DAWE: Professional corruption.

JOHN CLARKE: Competent, consistent and well embedded. These qualities are valued.

BRYAN DAWE: But he was never convicted.

JOHN CLARKE: That is one of the key indicators. Operators who avoid conviction demonstrate familiarity with the machinery. Avoiding prosecution shows procedural expertise.

BRYAN DAWE: Is that the standard now?

JOHN CLARKE: It has been for decades.

BRYAN DAWE: And the Prime Minister approves this?

JOHN CLARKE: Certainly. As a younger man he observed Richardson closely and is now showing he understands the machinery’s unwritten principles.

BRYAN DAWE: Which are?

JOHN CLARKE: Support the operators, maintain precedent, avoid accountability wherever possible.

BRYAN DAWE: Where do ethics fit in?

JOHN CLARKE: Ethics are acknowledged, Bryan, but rarely operational.

BRYAN DAWE: And John Laws received a state funeral as well.

JOHN CLARKE: Yes. Another long-serving operator who understood influence, monetisation and the importance of avoiding inconvenient prosecutions where possible.

BRYAN DAWE: He had a conviction.

JOHN CLARKE: A minor one. It did not trouble the machinery.

BRYAN DAWE: And Alan Jones would be next.

JOHN CLARKE: He has met most of the criteria. Substantial broadcast influence, political reach, occasional scandals, avoided catastrophic prosecution, long-term service. A very strong candidate.

BRYAN DAWE: So this is a pattern.

JOHN CLARKE: It is an established pattern. Once the machinery protects an operator it becomes difficult to discontinue protection without creating questions about earlier decisions.

BRYAN DAWE: Such as?

JOHN CLARKE: Whether earlier operators should have been honoured. Whether the machinery acted correctly. These questions are destabilising.

BRYAN DAWE: Because they introduce accountability.

JOHN CLARKE: Exactly.

BRYAN DAWE: So the machinery never admits error.

JOHN CLARKE: It can. It prefers not to.

BRYAN DAWE: Why?

JOHN CLARKE: Because admitting error creates an obligation to review past decisions and the machinery avoids reviewing anything.

BRYAN DAWE: How far back would that go?

JOHN CLARKE: Quite a distance. You would eventually reach Howard.

BRYAN DAWE: John Howard.

JOHN CLARKE: A very senior operator. Avoided prosecution for international matters of some significance. The machinery protected him thoroughly. That protection cannot now be reversed without awkward implications.

BRYAN DAWE: Such as whether he should have been held accountable.

JOHN CLARKE: Precisely. And that would be destabilising.

BRYAN DAWE: And so Richardson is honoured.

JOHN CLARKE: If Howard is protected and honoured, then Richardson must be. Otherwise the machinery becomes inconsistent.

BRYAN DAWE: And Laws.

JOHN CLARKE: If Richardson is honoured and Howard is honoured, then Laws must be. The machinery avoids irregularities.

BRYAN DAWE: And Jones.

JOHN CLARKE: He satisfies many performance benchmarks.

BRYAN DAWE: Are there limits?

JOHN CLARKE: Not operationally. The machinery continues until it meets resistance and historically it has not met much.

BRYAN DAWE: Could the Prime Minister refuse?

JOHN CLARKE: He could. But refusal would draw attention to the machinery and its earlier decisions. That is considered unwise.

BRYAN DAWE: So we honour the corrupt because we honoured the corrupt?

JOHN CLARKE: Exactly. It is a procedural loop.

BRYAN DAWE: Circular.

JOHN CLARKE: Yes, and that is why it has been so durable.

BRYAN DAWE: Has anyone tried to stop it?

JOHN CLARKE: Occasionally. They do not last. The machinery prefers operators who understand the arrangement.

BRYAN DAWE: So this will continue indefinitely.

JOHN CLARKE: Until the machinery encounters something stronger than precedent.

BRYAN DAWE: Which would be?

JOHN CLARKE: Accountability.

BRYAN DAWE: Is that likely?

JOHN CLARKE: No.

BRYAN DAWE: Why not?

JOHN CLARKE: Accountability requires admitting error. The machinery has calculated that continuing is simpler.

BRYAN DAWE: So Richardson is honoured because revisiting Howard is too difficult.

JOHN CLARKE: That is correct. The machinery believes it has gone too far to turn back.

BRYAN DAWE: So this is permanent.

JOHN CLARKE: It is considered efficient.

BRYAN DAWE: Efficient?

JOHN CLARKE: Within the machinery, yes.

(A long silence.)

BRYAN DAWE: Thank you, John.

JOHN CLARKE: A pleasure, Bryan. Always happy to clarify the arrangement.

[FADE]

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